Body Analysis (Day 1)

"I'd lend you some trunks, but I don't have any in fat-fuck size." -Viet Pham

Height: 5'8

Weight: 161.7

Neck: 15.5"

Shoulders: 48"

Chest" 39"

Stomach: 35"

Waist: 33"

Hips: 37"

Left Bicep: 14.25"

Right Bicep: 14"

Left Forearm: 11.25"

Right Forearm: 10.9"

Left Thigh: 20.5"

Right Thigh: 20.5"

Left Calf: 14"

Right Calf: 14.5"

Body Fat %: 21.7%

Yes, it's true ladies and gentlemen. I am officially fat-fuck status as of today. The good news is I DEFINITELY chose the right goal. Thank goodness for scratching the "add 15 lbs" regimen. I probably would have died from blindness from diabetes or a massive coronary.

This is quite a stark contrast to the pictures I took last year when I was consistently working out and doing cardio. I guess it just goes to show that staying in shape is truly a by product of an ongoing lifestyle and not just something that happens by occasionally eating right and going to the gym.

Some other interesting differences from measurements I had last year:

-Shoulders, chest and neck have all shrunk an inch

-Waist/stomach gained nearly 2 inches. Massive alcohol intake and a newfound affinity for sweet pastries for the win.

-Imbalances between left and right appendages that used to be symmetrical. Most likely attributed to badminton and just not working out.

Surprisingly, the Bodpod operator said that I wasn't in too bad of a shape. He said 18% was a healthy percentage to be at and that I should be able to reach that goal within three months. He obviously has no idea what I'm trying to do.

I have not yet determined a detailed diet and workout regimen yet. A general outline of these will be posted tomorrow.

Stay tuned for more exciting tales!